Having a working wife helps!

 

This article on New York Times titled She Works. They’re Happy. sparked me to write this post. The intention of this post is to relate my personal situation with what is described in that article.

 

My wife was working when I met her and there was a lot of speculation form her family and her friends whether she’s continue to work after the marriage. I can even remember, prior to our marriage, when I was introduced to her boss, one of her first questions were where I had any objections to her continuing to work after marriage. And even her parents and her aunts were of the view that she’d give up her job after the marriage. Maybe the fact that none of women among her mom to her aunts had worked after getting married contributed to that fact.

 

But I was coming from a different background where my mom worked till we were quite old, and being the liberal man that I was I always felt that it was her decision. Of course I preferred her to continue to work. She was pretty amazing in what she did and it would have been a terrible waste to just to have idling at home. And she found career success pretty effortlessly and climbed up the ladder, naturally!

 

Then came the notion that she would give up her job once the kids arrived. We always kept our options open. We considered her giving up her job if it was necessary. But being Sri Lankans we had help in raising the kids. Her parents were there to help us. When the second one was on the way, the pressure for her to quit the job was mounting. But we still kept our options open and she returned to work after the maternity leave was over. Thank god for parents!

 

Getting back to the topic, around the time our second kid came around, I switched to becoming a full time freelancer working mainly from home. While my hand in looking after the kids are not as intense as the Walders in the NYT article, I think in a way our roles also have switched. The fact that my wife worked and had better benefits including health made it easier to me to make a bold decision to leave a corporate job. And her health benefits actually came into MY rescue when late last year I had to undergo some surgeries.

 

Also, one of the main comforts that I had in switching to freelancing was knowing that even if I didn’t make a much money, there was always a fall back plan, her job. And being the great woman she is, she always encouraged me to take the leap telling me, ‘I will support you until you get on your feet’. And that was the greatest source of comfort that I had while leaping to become a freelancer!

 

Now that I am at home, I share the responsibilities of taking our kid to school, for dancing, etc. I make my schedule around those responsibilities and it really helps to be able to adjust my schedule as needed. I think in a way, though not financially, our roles have changed. I, the husband is the one staying at home, and she, the wife, is the one going out to work. Of course I cannot take the credit of looking after the kids during the day, as her parents do a wonderful job in that department and let me get on with my professional work. I take up those responsibilities only if they need to be relieved for something.

 

I knew when I switched to becoming a freelancer that I was joining a minority, but growing trend. But I never realized that our situation would also put us in another trend group of stay-at-home dads and working mothers! But I am glad to be in both these groups! Welcome to the future of work!

 

Technorati Tags: Stay at home dad,future of work,working mother,freelancing,working from home